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The Choices We Make While Inebriated…

July 9, 2018

At the end of the day, when the bottle is empty, and you still want more, when you are alone, even when the room is full, and your drunkenness fails to bring you relief you have a choice; do it again tomorrow, or start living now. The second you make the choice to start living opportunity arises from the wake of destruction you have created. The flame that you managed to drown is resilient, and a spark of hope flickers the second you hit the “enough“switch. Whether that spark catches fire or is snuffed out is completely up to you.

Captain Michael Morse, retired, Providence Fire Department

You may be intoxicated when you choose to get sober, but know this; not all of the choices we make while under the influence are bad. Alcohol is a powerful drug, or we wouldn’t worship it with such abandon. It accompanies us on many memorable moments, and allows us to shed our inhibitions and take chances we normally would avoid.

The choices we make while inebriated are not always wise, but choosing to let go of the safety net and try life unimpeded by chemical enhancement is one of the smartest decisions a person struggling with addiction will make.

Never knowing if we reached our potential, or felt what we could feel, or loved as deeply as our soul allows because we were drunk during the moments that matter is a curse that can be lifted. It is a heavy load, one that a thousand giants cannot bear without the cooperation of the person afflicted. Once that person ignites the flame of hope, all it takes is one. And that person has been waiting for the opportunity to rise up and grab life by the throat, shake it loose, free the doubt, fear, self loathing and wonder. That person is you.

The idea of sobriety that began in a state of intoxication lingers the day after, and when the battle begins anew, and the voices start their incessant chatter, the spark that was ignited has the ability to grow into an inferno hot enough to quiet the shouts and screams of the demons that you have chosen to abandon, and the flame’s roar eventually turns into a whisper as the desire to start life again takes hold. Make no mistake; this is a choice between heaven and hell. We who drink to excess have experienced both, and I for one know exactly which existence I prefer. I lived in peace and relative tranquility until I found how to destroy it by drinking.
I lived in a hell of my own making by drinking my serenity away. But that peace is still there, and the only chance I have of re-discovering it is to maintain sobriety, and live my life to the fullest. This journey I have chosen to embark upon is only possible if I leave the booze behind. The twelve once bottles I once swallowed with ease now carry the weight of a thousand lost opportunities, and I’ll be damned if will make myself bear that weight for the rest of my days.
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