In Episode 46 of Far From Finished, Andrea talks about the importance of acceptance when it comes to her addiction and recovery. She understands that she’s made a lot of mistakes and she’s evaluating them because she knows she doesn’t want that anymore as it led her to a lot of pain and to some very dark places.
Andrea describes her childhood as chaotic. By 11 she began lashing out and rebelling. She sought out ways to rebel and get excitement (whether it be through drugs, boys or by running away from home). By the age of 14 she was using cocaine and living with her drug dealer. Even though there were people in her life gravely affected by drugs and alcohol she continued to abuse. She didn’t see alcohol as something that would take her under. Alcohol was her main vice of choice. Her addiction escalated to the point of violence when she was charged with a felony (dropped to a misdemeanor) — the effects of that incident are still present with her today.
Even with these incidents happening in her life, Andrea continued her drinking. Though she was excelling at work, she was drinking heavier than before, consuming bottle after bottle of whiskey. A DUI triggered a further spiral of events as Andrea sought to solve every problem she faced by drinking more and more.
She recalls a moment where, in her car with a bottle of wine, she had a really profound moment with her higher power. Andrea believes it was the first time she had really felt Him since being lost in the chaos. And though the next few days were a struggle, Andrea came to the conclusion that she had to stop living the way she had. She remembers the first night she was in a detox house in Las Vegas. She felt safe. She could breath. She could feel things opening up.
Andrea considers treatment a second chance, a gift that she sometimes loses sight of still to this day. In her addiction she felt alone. While in treatment she met all these people that were right there with her. She was not alone anymore.
Andrea’s recovery has seen its share of ups and downs but she continues to hold onto the hope that she felt while she was in treatment. She wants to be able to make choices that will lead to a better life for her. She wants to hold onto that hope, nurture it and make it grow.