In Episode 58 of Far From Finished Caitlin talks about her experience in sober living and how she doesn’t want to leave because her roommate and the other women she lives with are her absolute best friends in the entire world. She would do anything for them and has found real happiness rather than just synthetic euphoria. There was a timeshe didn’t think that was possible.
Caitlin’s life before addiction was rocky. Filled with moments of illness and trauma she wanted to get away from what was simmering inside. Drowning her feelings with Percocet for the first time made her feel as though she was exactly who she always wanted to be. She thought she was queen of the universe because she could balance a hardcore drug addiction, full-time school and a full-time job. Moving from Percocet to Heroin, Caitlin managed to make it to three months before she started shooting up.
She found herself going in and out of the hospital due to becoming sick from the heroin use. Caitlin was also using in the hospital while she was being treated. She thought she was going to figure it out and be able to use, hide her addiction from everyone, and live a good life. That didn’t turn out to be the case. In April of 1015, she decided to go into treatment. Since that first time she’s found herself in an in-patient facility eleven different times and also spent time in a 14-day mini rehab.
It was a fateful event in a car that made Caitlin realize that she could no longer continue on with her abuse. With jail or an indefinite hospital stay her only other options, Caitlin again chose to enter treatment to get the help she needed. She began the process of participating in groups, opening up in sessions and finally giving treatment an honest and fair shot.
Today Caitlin reflects about her life and how it’s been both joyous and painful. She knows that she never wants to go back to where she was. There’s not one part of her that truly wants that life back because she knows it wasn’t a life. Caitlin used to think she was going to die a junkie but she now knows she doesn’t ever have to use again. She also knows she doesn’t have to be alone anymore.