In Episode 55 of Far From Finished Chad talks about how sobriety has provided a closer connection with his children. During his addiction his daughter was afraid of him but today she puts her arm around him which brings him joy to his heart. Recovery and the fellowship rooms were able to give him the memories that he has with them today.
Chad grew up in a home where his father was an alcoholic. Chad was 13 years old when his parents divorced and his father left. Chad thought that alcohol would change how he would feel.. When he later found out that his father was not his biological father he completely lost it. He eventually started running with a rough crowd where he found drugs. He wanted to be a man and by 18 he had a full time job — getting high.
Chad just kept running. Running away from his real father and siblings he never knew about. Not even tragic news could stop Chad. He kept going until he fell in love with his drug of choice. It took away all the pain and anger. He wanted to quit drugs but he would wake up the next morning and restart the process of using. This mindset ran through his fifth time through detox. He has been to detox six times.
Chad’s life before active recovery has run the gamut — going in and out of treatment, being put on probation for a felony and being a new father who exposed his child to the world of drug abuse. It became so bad that he would choose to spend last $20 on drugs instead of buying his daughter diapers. The moment he realized that he needed to get help came when his daughter saw him at a true low. Before going into treatment he received the news that his fiancé was pregnant. He knew he had made mistakes with his daughter. He had the opportunity for a do-over.
Entering treatment he felt like the new kid in school. It wasn’t until he started opening his mouth and talking about his feelings, especially about his family, that things started to change. Getting involved in a 12-Step fellowship also made a huge impact as it allowed him to become more open-minded. Coming from a small town, Chad knew that he needed to be open-minded because there were so many different people in those rooms. He felt the love in those rooms.
Recovery started when he got out of treatment. Now at the age of 35 he feels like he’s starting over again. In the past he had decided he’d be better off getting high because he didn’t want to look at himself and for Chad that’s where it starts. You’ve got to want to look at yourself and learn to put your priorities first. Your wants have to come last.