In Episode 48 of Far From Finished, Chris talks about not knowing where his sobriety is going to take him but liking the track that he’s on. He believes that it’s exciting. He is going to continue to learn, to grow, and do what makes him happy. He knows he’ll always move forward especially with his children.
As a child Chris didn’t know what addiction was. For him alcoholism was his father drinking and things being a little crazy. He just thought that’s how life was. By the time he was 28 he had gone through multiple relationships that ended as a result of his addiction. Once he had reached his 40s he was introduced to prescription opiates due to a back injury. In his early 40s, Chris was a father of three who was addicted to heroin. He felt like a ghost living inside this flesh.
Chris’s pride and ego convinced him that he could just end his addiction with straight willpower alone. When he finally had to say “enough was enough, I can’t do this on my own,” he thought it was a sign of weakness. He now knows that it was a sign of great courage. He learned that most people don’t have that courage to out themselves, to put their hand out and say they need help. Constantly going in and out of treatment led Chris to question why he kept relapsing. He had to find out why his brain was taking him back to thinking that using was the better outcome. He began to learn about the benefits of meditation and mindfulness. He was able to turn things over and understand that he’s responsible for the effort and not the outcome.
For Chris, the most important thing in his recovery is the relationships with his children. They were the biggest motivators for him to get treatment. He wanted to be a guy that they could rely on again. He wanted to be someone they could turn to, even when all they needed was just a conversation. Now at 55 he realizes the importance of belonging. Belonging to a family, belonging to a circle of friends that just cared about him for who he was and not what he could do for them.