For Mike, his addiction started when he was a child. He always felt a separation from society and people. Since the age of four he always felt alone, on the outside looking in. When he took his first shot of alcohol he was already thinking about when he was going to get the next one.
A tragic death led to his drug abuse — the drugs helped him cope with his life, mask his feelings and not feel so anxious around people. According to Mike, the disease was sucking the soul out of his body and was taking everything from him. He saw glimpses of hope when he saw other people admit to their own addiction but he didn’t think there was hope for him.
Homeless in Camden, NJ, Mike reached a spiritual bottom so low that he saw the world as a dark place. It got to a point where he found himself wandering the streets looking for someone to either arrest or kill him. Nobody arrested or killed him and in that moment something hit him — he knew that there was something on this earth for him to do.
Mike believes it was God who took away the qualities and behaviors in him that always led him to relapse. Going into a halfway house he began to do the things they were always telling him to do when he would go into treatment — get a sponsor, join a twelve step fellowship. It changed his whole life around.
In recovery he believes God gives everyone in this world specific gifts and shows them what they’re on this earth to do. For Mike it’s to provide help to other people. To offer big and small gestures of kindness.
Podcast may contain mature language and situations