In Episode 75 of Far From Finished Missy talks about how her life in addiction was living life like a lie because she was excited about whatever you told her to be excited about. Today if she gets pumped up and excited about something it’s because she genuinely is (especially the work she does in addiction recovery).
Missy’s drug of choice was Adderall. She used it to get ahead. She started using it to study and she just couldn’t stop once she started. In her mind Missy didn’t think she was a drug addict she thought she was just doing what everyone else did. She had reached a point where she couldn’t function in life without Adderall. She had hit a cycle where she was working just to pay for her addiction. She had also created a cycle where she was alone and miserable and taking uppers to come up, downers to come down and drank during the times in-between.
No one knew about Missy’s secret. She was scared that if people found out that she’d have to stop. She had believed that Adderall had made her perfect. Missy believes that it was divine grace that led to Missy’s family intervening and asking her to get help. She was willing. She was ready to be done.
When Missy first went into treatment she felt like a reporter doing a story while undercover. She couldn’t accept that she was actually there. Over time and by putting her heart into it she realized that she was just like everybody else. It didn’t matter what drug you were on — Heroin or Adderall. They were all the same.
Now with a second chance on life Missy is humble. She was able to realize that her actions got her to a point of self-destruction. Today the biggest change for her is doing what makes her happy — doing it from the heart and not her head.