In Episode 53 of Far From Finished, Pam talks about how fear is the biggest thing keeping people from going into treatment. For Pam it’s about putting those thoughts (how you’re going to deal with life without drugs and alcohol) in the back burner and dealing with that when you get sober. You have to get sober before you know how you’re going to deal in life without the substances.
Pam always liked to say that her addiction went too far and stayed too long. Once she finally hit bottom she was living out of her car and her parents had to change the locks on their house. She identified as an alcohol because that was consistent throughout her use, but her drug of choice was really whatever was available. Whatever would make her not feel she took. She knew she had to get help when she couldn’t even recognize herself in the mirror.
Pam says that the scariest day of her life was walking into the doors of treatment. The second scariest day of her life was walking out. She arrived at treatment and she knew it was a safe place. She knew she didn’t have to live with drugs and alcohol but she also knew she had to come back out. After leaving treatment her ultimate goals were to pay her parents back for treatment. Most importantly she got really involved in the recovery community.
She’s still heavily involved in the community — from service work to going to special meetings that make her stay accountable. Working in the addiction recovery industry has added an extra layer as it keeps her fresh in her own personal recovery. Whatever she can do to help somebody get into treatment she’s willing to do that because she knows that’s what saved her life.
In the last year Pam has had to endure some hardships but what’s kept her strong is staying connected to her community and being able to continue to do what she loves to do. It’s what kept her from having to use. She didn’t have to use when the worst things were happening in her life. She can’t even put into words how blessed she is.