In Episode 76 of Far From Finished Thomas talks about how writing everyday became a way to look at his past and unpack it and take apart the idea of himself as a monster. He started to see the good side of who he had always been. Writing became a way of not just delving into his own addiction but sharing it.
Thomas grew up as a very sensitive kid. He was very bookish and a bit of an introvert. He believed that he was an addict from day one because he was always using something to self-medicate and calm myself down — whether it was retreating from the world or getting lost in books. When he found drugs and alcohol he felt that it was a very fun, very easy and very effective way of doing that. Addiction for him was built on a false persona. His addiction had isolated him to the point that he felt that his spirit was just hanging on by a little tiny thread. Thomas had hit rock bottom and started to make plans to end his life.
Thomas will never forget being on a beach and hearing a phrase from someone that made him decide to call a suicide hotline instead of end his life. Thomas believes the day on the beach was the day his old life died. He had a second chance. Rehab became an incredible life changing experience for Thomas where he would get up, meditate and make gratitude lists. He would remind himself of all the good things in life and its possibilities. Each day in treatment started turning into an adventure in living.
Thomas didn’t have any expectations for his life when he was using. He didn’t even think he would survive. Today Thomas lives a life that is completely free and open. He believes that underneath all the drugs and alcohol (and anything you’ve done),is your beautiful soul and you can always come back to that.