Tawny Lara Talks about Sobriety and Sexuality
Addiction Talk’s fourth episode focused on sobriety and sexuality and featured Tawny Lara as a guest. Often described as the “Sober Sexpert,” Tawny Lara is the host of the Recovery Rocks podcast and the founder of Sobriety Tea party. Lara writes about dating and sexuality for people in recovery, and shared some of her thoughts with American Addiction Center’s Joy Sutton about how those in recovery can begin dating again.
Tawny Lara’s Struggles with Alcohol
Tawny Lara is no stranger to the struggles of living with an addiction. For years Lara struggled with binge drinking. She spoke about how she was in denial that she had a problem. “I just thought I was a party girl who liked having a good time,” Lara said, “I didn’t really think much of it. I was just like, ‘This is just how people drink.'”
After a few years of working in New York City as a fitness instructor, Lara began to suspect her drinking habits were problematic. “I would have multiple drinks and I would go to the bars and come back with a round of shots and people were like, ‘why?'” Lara said, recalling the moment she realized she may have an addiction, “And that moment just really, really hit me. I got sober about a year after that.”
Dating, Sobriety, and Sexuality
After she started writing a book about her personal experiences, Lara began to notice interesting aspects about sobriety and sexuality. “I write a lot about sex and sobriety dating,” Lara said. “I didn’t realize how much alcohol impacted my dating and sex life until I got sober.”
Many people who go on dates often use alcohol as a way to ease nerves. Whether it be a glass of wine over dinner or a dose of liquor to calm down before a date, alcohol and modern dating culture are intimately connected. “But once you stop drinking…you can’t have a glass of wine to relax before you are intimate with your partner,” Lara said, “So what do you do?”
Lara believes that honesty is one of the best ways to navigate the world of sober dating. Lara recommends people be open with their sobriety. Putting your sobriety on your dating profile or being upfront with your sobriety while on a date can be strong options for those in early recovery. “If someone has a normal relationship with alcohol, they’re not going to have any issues with your sobriety,” Lara said, “They’re going to be like, ‘okay, cool, so what do you want for dessert?'”
Watch the Full Addiction Talk Episode with Tawny Lara
Tawny Lara goes into great detail about how those in early recovery can reclaim their sexuality after a long battle with addiction. In the episode, Lara discussed when it’s okay to start dating in recovery and gave useful tips for being honest about sobriety. She also gave some insight as to potential red flags, and discussed the challenges facing members of the LGBTQ community when it comes to dating in recovery.
To watch the full episode of Addiction Talk, click here.