10 Tips for a Merry, Sober, and Safe Holiday Season

The holidays aren’t just filled with parties, Santa, and Aunt Betty’s famous fudge. They’re also jam-packed with time-strapped travel, stress, and high expectations. And for those in recovery, the holidays can also come with a stocking full of triggers, including people, places, and events that present both the opportunity and the lure to return to substance misuse. The season can feel long, too, with Halloween parties, Thanksgiving dinner, and December celebrations such as Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa.

But don’t let the holidays derail your recovery. With a bit of planning, you can protect your sobriety and still enjoy the festivities. Here are 10 tips to help you do just that. And if you need more support than tips can give, American Addiction Centers’ treatment centers are here to help.

1. Plan Ahead

As they say, a failure to plan is a plan to fail. So literally make a plan for how you’re going to maintain your sobriety. Start by determining which activities, environments, and people might trigger a relapse, and either avoid them entirely or decide exactly how you will deal with them. Your plan might include:

• Map out your month. Look at the calendar, identify potentially challenging dates or events, and make a plan for each one.
• BYOBuddy. Bring a sober friend to events or gatherings where alcohol may be present or that might otherwise be triggering.
• Bring your own beverage. Non-alcoholic drinks, such as sparkling cider, can help you avoid temptation.
• Limit your time at triggering events.
• Bookend the event. Attend a sober support meeting or even schedule a telehealth treatment visit before or after triggering events.

2. Lean on Your Support Network

Support is crucial when facing the added stress and substance-use triggers of the holidays, so keep your support team close, figuratively and/or literally. That might mean planning phone calls and FaceTimes, going to extra AA or NA meetings, talking with your sponsor, enlisting sober friends, seeking out spiritual counselors, or scheduling additional therapy sessions. Avoid isolation by staying consistent with the accountability you’ve built with your sponsor and others in recovery.

Look for sober holiday events, too. Ask members of your recovery community about sober New Year’s Eve gatherings, which may be private parties with others in recovery or public events advertised as alcohol-free.

If your support network includes family, talk to them about your feelings and concerns. Remind them that you’re prioritizing your recovery and ask for their support in creating a safe and sober environment.

3. Set Boundaries and Practice Saying No

Now more than ever, it’s important to set boundaries: for yourself, for others, for how you’ll be treated, for what events you’ll attend, and for what you’ll eat and drink. Know what you’re comfortable with and share it with loved ones so they can support your sobriety. Remember, you have the right to protect your peace.

Not every gathering is right for you. If you sense one will be particularly jarring, it’s okay to politely decline the invitation or to host your own get-together, designed around your own wants and needs.

When you do go, plan and practice how you’ll refuse a drink. Much like strength training builds muscle, building the courage to say “no” takes practice. Have scripted responses ready for anticipated scenarios so a well-meaning relative doesn’t catch you off guard.

It also helps to know the two types of social pressure. Direct social pressure is when someone offers you a drink or an opportunity to drink. Indirect social pressure is feeling tempted just by being around others who are drinking, even if no one has offered you anything.¹ Prepare for both.

4. Have an Escape Plan

Some situations you just can’t avoid. In those cases, an escape plan makes them easier to navigate. If you reach your limit and get too uncomfortable, it’s okay to say your farewells and leave. Some ways to plan your exit:

• Have a “pop-in” strategy. Let the host know ahead of time that you’re only popping in to say hello and won’t be staying long. Have a timeframe in mind, like 15 or 20 minutes. A simple “I have another commitment” is usually enough. There’s no need to over-explain.
• Double-book your day. Schedule a meeting or get-together with sober friends. This gives you a concrete reason to leave and a place to debrief and destress. If possible, time your departure for a natural break in the event, like before dinner.
• Use the phone-a-friend option. Ask a supportive friend or family member to call you at a pre-arranged time. If you need to leave urgently, have a code word that signals your need for rescue.
• Trust your gut. Never feel obligated to stay in a situation that makes you uncomfortable. If possible, say a quick goodbye to the host. A follow-up text the next day is a thoughtful touch.

5. Prioritize Self-Care

Proper nutrition, exercise, and sleep help you maintain your well-being, so don’t back-burner your self-care during the holidays. Given the added stress of the season, make an extra effort to make time for yourself, relieve stress in a healthy manner, and remain mindful. Self-care looks different for everyone, but here are some ideas:

• Rest and recharge. Aim for 7-8 hours of quality sleep each night. Even a short nap can help when you’re feeling depleted.
• Nourish your body. Enjoy balanced meals and stay hydrated. Cooking a favorite comfort food, like a big batch of spaghetti or breakfast for dinner, is a treat in itself.
• Treat yourself. Take a warm shower or bubble bath, or stream a show or series you’ve been meaning to get into.
• Get creative. Draw, paint, write, capture your random thoughts, snap photos, or come up with the words and music to a song.
• Clear the clutter. Tackle a closet, organize your phone, and donate unwanted items in good condition. A little order can help you feel better, too.
• Make time for joy. Hobbies, reading, music, or time with loved ones can help you recharge.

6. Keep Your Routines

Consistent routines help support sobriety, while major shakeups can throw you off physically and mentally. Try to maintain the cornerstones of your daily routine as you navigate the holiday season, and stay committed to the routines and rituals that ground you.

7. Move Your Body and Get Outside

As an important part of self-care, exercise can boost both your physical and mental health. Make time for it during the holidays. That can include cutting down a Christmas tree, ice skating at the local pond, going to the gym, trying yoga, or turning on music at home and dancing around the living room. Even a short walk in nature can reduce stress and boost your mood. A walk through your neighborhood to check out the holiday décor is a chance to spread a little cheer, too. Say hello to the people you pass.

8. Create New Traditions

If holiday traditions triggered your substance use in the past, it’s time to make new sober traditions. You could make cookies together instead of serving Grandma’s famous eggnog. You might have Christmas at home instead of visiting Uncle Charlie, who tends to pressure guests into “just one glass” of wine. Or you could host a sober affair all your own. Bottom line: it’s time to redefine your own fun for the holidays. A few ideas:

• Create custom mocktails. You don’t need alcohol to make fun, festive drinks. Try out some mocktail recipes, or set up a full mocktail station complete with a mixologist at your next event.
• Get out and about. Attend community events, such as group sings, library programs, or a museum or gallery visit, or go to services at your faith community.
• Keep gatherings light. At family and friend get-togethers, stay busy by helping prepare, plate, serve, and clean. Bring a board game, or suggest one like charades.

9. Give Back

If you’re hyperfocused on your sobriety, consider shifting a little of that attention to serving others. That can mean baking cookies for friends, spending time with elderly neighbors, volunteering at a homeless shelter, or walking dogs at the local ASPCA. Charitable organizations look for helping hands this time of year. Check with a local hospital or VA hospital, a food bank or pantry, a soup kitchen, an animal shelter, Meals on Wheels, or a nursing home or assisted living facility to find out what they need. Then check online, pick up the phone, or stop by in person.

10. Remember Your Why

A positive mindset can turn drudgery into enjoyment, just as a negative outlook can turn a festive occasion into the equivalent of a trip to the dentist. Rather than focusing on what you no longer have, such as substance use and addiction, set your sights on the beautiful life of sobriety that’s right in front of you.

The holidays can also stir up stress, loneliness, and pressure to overindulge, and some of those feelings can be difficult to navigate. It’s a good time to reflect on why you started your recovery journey. Create a list of why maintaining your sobriety is important to you. What are you grateful for? What goals are you working toward? Reconnect with your motivations, acknowledge your achievements, and stay focused on building the future you deserve.

Going to Rehab During the Holidays

The holidays can be stressful, and stress can be a major trigger for relapse. Rehab provides a safe and supportive environment to manage stress and develop coping mechanisms. If you’re already in treatment, a tune-up may be just what you need. If you’re not, deciding to take action is comforting in itself and a springboard to the best possibilities ahead.

Reach out to our compassionate and knowledgeable admissions navigators to learn about your treatment options, discover the benefits of going to rehab during the holidays, and start your journey to a happier, healthier you. Remember: recovery is the greatest gift you can give yourself and those you love.

If you prefer texting to calling, we understand! American Addiction Centers offers a free, no-obligation confidential text help line. Get the support you need, when you need it, on your terms.