Dating in Recovery: How to Get Started

Plenty of articles talk about sober dating in terms of when it’s OK to start dating again and various do’s and don’ts of dating after rehab. Some pieces even offer a list of apps designed to help those in recovery connect with one another. But aside from apps, how can you get the ball rolling?

Let’s say you’ve already put your recovery first, and you’ve allowed yourself enough time to build a solid recovery foundation, establish ongoing support, and develop the life-long skills to avoid triggers and maintain sobriety. You’re ready to begin a new chapter! But now what? How do you actually put yourself out there and meet someone—or a bunch of someones—in the hopes of eventually establishing a romantic relationship?

Recovery is certainly a personal journey, as is the quest to find someone with which to share your life. However, here are several avenues to help you locate other singles in recovery and/or those who understand and support this unique life experience.

Recovery Communities

While some sober-centric websites and apps only offer online dating-related activities, others function more as online—and perhaps even in-person—communities. Here are a few options.

• Loosid. While you’ll often see Loosid on dating app lists, it’s far more than that. It’s really a digital platform that celebrates the sober lifestyle, offering a community of like-minded people, some of whom are open to dating. You’ll also find chat groups, “boozeless guides,” daily tips, a sobriety hotline support group, inspirational stories of those in recovery, etc.
• Meetup. Offering seemingly endless groups related to everything from pottery to poetry, Meetup also offers sober groups. Simply type “sober” into the search field. Results might include sober yoga events, sober hangouts, Dry January support groups, guided meditation for those in recovery, alcohol-free bowling or board-game nights, etc.
• Sober Grid. Available via your app store, Sober Grid is a social network to help people find other sober people near them.
• Facebook. Myriad private Facebook groups are centered around sobriety support and dating in recovery. Search for sober dating, dating in recovery, and similar terms.
• Alumni Groups. Some rehab facilities offer alumni support groups that provide opportunities to meet others in recovery. While it’s generally verboten to date inside a focused treatment program or meeting, facility-specific recovery groups are often a safe space to meet others on a similar journey. One example is the alumni group offered by American Addiction Centers, which serves as an extended family and support network. Along with online events, the group offers occasional in-person outings and activities.

Interest-Based Groups Related to Recovery Tools

Broaden your search to include groups, apps, communities, etc. that involve recovery tools such as mindfulness, physical fitness, healthy eating, outdoor activities, etc. Take a second to identify some of the tools you’ve employed during your recovery. Then seek out groups associated with them. People you meet in these groups may not be focused on recovery, but you will already have something in common with them—and this something is a valuable part of your sober foundation.

• Meet Mindful. The site is designed to help mindful singles connect with intention and make meaningful connections. However, it also offers bi-weekly communications including tips, tactics, and content related to mindful living.
• Christian Mingle. If you leaned into a Christian faith during recovery, you may be able to find like-minded, faith-driven individuals via this dating site.
• Physical fitness groups. Google for local groups or facilities related to physical fitness, e.g., community-sponsored rec leagues or classes, nonprofit hiking groups, biking clubs, etc.
• Nutrition and eating groups. Meetup and various local apps and search tools can help you identify nutrition-related groups near you. For example, you might discover meetups related to vegan nutrition, keto, soul food cooking, healthy eating, etc.
• Day Breaker. Billed as a community of 500,000 people who break the day with dance, energy, joy, and intention, Day Breaker is community of like-minded individuals who meet at alcohol-free events nationwide. The site also offers online and in-person courses as well as livestreamed experiences.

Volunteer Opportunities

Giving of yourself and your time is a well-established recovery tool, and volunteer opportunities can help you meet like-minded individuals in your area. Since interests vary widely, start with a general volunteer search site such as VolunteerMatch. Or simply make a list of some of your interests and Google for nonprofits or volunteer opportunities in your area. Groups/facilities that often accept volunteers include:

• Animal shelters/rescue organizations.
• Children’s programs (e.g., after-school programs, youth groups, etc.).
• Senior citizens centers, assisted living facilities, and long-term care homes.
• Art and cultural centers.
• State or local parks.
• Environmental groups.
• Homeless/housing organizations.
• Immigrant/refugee aid associations.
• Special interest groups.
• Veteran services organizations.
• Pregnant teen support services, women’s shelters, etc.